The People Who Bought My Home Came Back for Concessions After the Contracts Were Signed. Here's What I Did

Like 5.3 million other households, we sold our home in June 2022. Due to the sheer lack of inventory in Kansas City, we got two offers within hours of listing our home on the market. Both buyers offered far more than we anticipated receiving, but the offer we chose included slightly better terms.

We liked everything we heard about the buyers and their brood. In addition to being close friends with our next-door neighbors (who are amazing people), the agent kept telling us how excited the buyers were at the idea of living in that home. It was precisely how I felt about it when we bought it five years earlier. If I was leaving a home I loved, I appreciated the idea of another family feeling the same way.

This is where I normally get sloppy

We've sold many homes throughout the years, and I've always tried to be the kind of seller I would want to buy from. For example, I ensure everything is in tip-top shape so there are no repairs to deal with. There are no weeds in the garden, and the gutters are clean. I deep clean each room, then hire a professional cleaning crew to conduct a "move-out cleaning."

In short, I personalize the process, which has gotten me into trouble more than once. For example, just as we were moving from the Midwest to the East Coast in 2007, the housing market was on the verge of collapse. I remember being frustrated with the real estate agent because she exaggerated how much she thought we could get for the home and was hurt by buyers who didn't want to pay as much as we thought it was worth.

My problem then, and with almost every other real estate deal, was that I took it personally. Part of the reason I did that was because our homes are so closely linked to our family. It's where we live, dream about the future, and make memories. In other words, I've tied my emotions to a house. The truth is, my family is still whole, and the memories still exist, even if we no longer live within those four walls.

Figuring it out

As a lifelong people-pleaser, I want everyone to be happy. It may be a likable trait, but it's not always in my best interest. Following the sale of the Kansas City house, a tiny piece of me felt vaguely guilty about how much this family, with a sports team worth of children, paid. And for me, it's tough to reconcile feeling grateful with feeling guilty.

Shortly before we were set to close on the house, I received a call from our real estate agent. The buyer wanted to know if we had any furniture we could leave behind for them. After all, the mid-century modern pieces they had in their last home would not fit the style of the new house. Conveniently, the buyers knew which rooms of our furniture they were most interested in keeping. Oh, and if we could leave the patio furniture, that would be great.

The buyers wanted me to know that they needed more furnishings to fill the rooms, and since they assumed my husband and I would be downsizing, we would have no use for some of the furniture.

We weren't downsizing, but even if we were, a concession like leaving furnishings behind should have been negotiated before contracts were signed. We could have factored it into the bottom line of their offer. Instead, we were days away from closing, and I felt selfish for not wanting to leave furniture behind.

It's strictly business

I'm not sure what came over me, but I realized that selling a house is just like any other business transaction. You tell the other party what it will take to close a deal, shake hands on it (or sign legally-binding contracts), and remain true to your word. I said, "I'm sorry, no."

I wish that family nothing but joy in my Kansas City house, but they are adults who knew how much money was in their checking account and how much they could afford to pay for the property. And when they decided to leave their old furniture behind because it didn't match the new home's architectural style, they consciously chose to live with an empty room or two.

Looking back, I realize all the mistakes I've made by allowing emotions to play a role in buying or selling a home. As a business transaction, it's no different than buying a new coat at Macy's, and I've never once cried in Macy's while buying a winter coat.

I will always be a feeler and hope to always care about other people, but that doesn't mean I need to make irrational, emotion-based decisions.

At this moment, it appears the tight housing market is here to stay for a while longer. My hope for anyone struggling to purchase a home is that they'll leave their emotions in a box somewhere as they house hunt. Five years down the road, they will be far more satisfied with the rational rather than emotional decisions they make.