3 Financial Rules My Husband and I Set When We Moved in Together

My husband and I opted to live together before getting married. But to be clear, we were totally committed to each other, and marriage was really more of a formality. 

We knew going into that arrangement that we were going to butt heads on certain financial issues. My husband has always been a bit more of a spender than me. I'm more cautious and need to have a certain savings account balance to be able to sleep at night. My husband's must-have balance is lower.

Now at this point, my husband and I know how to coexist financially without it impacting our relationship. Sometimes, that involves me giving in to a purchase he wants even if I think it's silly or wasteful. Other times, it means having him agree to not buy something we can afford until we've padded our emergency fund.

But when we first moved in together, we knew it was important to set ground rules. Here are a few we came up with.

1. No spending more than $100 without asking each other

Once we moved in together, my husband and I effectively agreed to combine finances. We didn't necessarily take that step completely and officially until we were married, but it was the arrangement we made in spirit. 

To honor that, we agreed that neither of us would purchase something for more than $100 without asking the other first if it was OK. This doesn't mean we had to consult each other if our grocery or Costco tab was $150. Rather, if I wanted to buy a $120 concert ticket to see a show with a friend or if he wanted a $200 gadget, that warranted a quick discussion.

2. No taking on new expenses without discussing them first

Part of combining our finances when we first moved in together meant agreeing to share all recurring bills. To that end, my husband and I also agreed not to commit to new expenses without discussing things first. And that extended to costs as basic as deciding whether to upgrade our cable plan or not. That way, neither of us had to feel pressured to start paying for something we didn't want or deem necessary.

3. No signing up for credit cards without consulting one another

My husband bought a home shortly after college, and once I moved in, we shared the expense of owning and maintaining it. But we knew early on that we'd soon want to upgrade to a larger space. So we agreed to be judicious with opening new credit cards, and we agreed not to do that without consulting each other.

Opening too many credit cards in short order can cause your credit score to take a hit. We wanted to do our part to keep our scores strong to make buying a new home as feasible as possible.

Start off on the right foot

It's an unfortunate thing that money has the potential to wreck relationships. The Jimenez Law Firm says that financial problems contribute to 20%-40% of all divorces. 

My husband and I may not have the same exact outlook on money, but we made a point to respect each other's views of it early on. And we set rules that were conducive to harmonious finances. If you're about to move in with or marry a partner who sees money a little differently than you do, you may want to establish your own set of rules that allow you to steer clear of conflict.