How to Create a Will That Keeps Your Family From Fighting

Death is inevitable. We need to prepare ourselves and our loved ones for when it comes. Estate planning is an essential part of life that ensures the smooth transfer of our assets to our loved ones after we pass. However, creating a will can be a sensitive and emotional process.

It's not uncommon for family members to fight over inheritance, leading to prolonged legal battles and damaged relationships. Here are some tips on how to create a will that keeps your family from fighting.

Discuss your intentions beforehand

Financial and estate planners stress the importance of parents discussing the aims and intentions of their estate plans with their children. This conversation will allow parents to set expectations.

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There is no need to reveal dollar figures or investment assets, as the key is to ensure the children understand the rationale behind the will. One suggestion is for parents to include side letters in their wills that are not part of the legal document, which explain their intentions.

This message serves as a final message to the children. Parents who give more assets to one child over others may be able to prevent misunderstandings if they explain their reasons in advance.

For example, if one child already received financial support for a home down payment, the parents can communicate why the assets will not be split equally. Parents need to emphasize that any unequal gift amount is not made due to a lack of affection for children who receive less.

Splitting up unique assets

Dividing up unique property can often lead to disputes among family members. You may have sentimental items that multiple family members have expressed interest in, or maybe there's a piece of property that has sentimental value to one family member over the others.

Consider talking to family members beforehand to see if any items are particularly important to them. Some families use sticky notes to tag favorite heirlooms. Whatever the case may be, the key is to be clear in your wishes and make sure everyone is on the same page.

Utilize specific language in your will that outlines who gets what and under what conditions. If there is a disagreement, consider hiring a mediator or seeking legal advice to help resolve the issue before it becomes a larger problem.

Consider having an open dialogue with your family members beforehand to hear their concerns and explain your reasoning. You need to be specific and detailed in your will. List each item individually and state who you would like to receive them.

By taking these steps, you can help ensure your family stays united during a difficult time.

Preserving inheritance for blended families

The process can be even more complicated for blended families. It's crucial to approach the division of your assets with sensitivity and thoughtfulness to avoid potential conflicts among family members.

Parents who have children from previous marriages must take extra care to ensure their children are protected financially. This is important, as stepchildren can be disinherited once a parent dies. It's advisable to inform the children of these provisions.

Separate wills for each spouse can add a layer of protection, particularly the so-called "contractual" wills. In these wills, each spouse agrees that the surviving spouse does not have the legal right to execute a new will that cuts out the children of the deceased spouse.

This provision aims to ensure that each spouse's assets are distributed according to their wishes and prevents the surviving spouse from making changes that cut other family members out of the will.

Bottom line

Creating a will that keeps your family from fighting is a sensitive yet valuable process. Parents must discuss their estate plans with their children to ensure they understand their intentions. Separate wills for each spouse can add an extra layer of protection, and including side letters in wills can provide clarity and help prevent misunderstandings.

Communication is key when it comes to estate planning, and taking the time to consider each family member's needs and well-being can make the difference between leaving a legacy of love or a legacy of conflict.