4 Reasons You Should Never Raid Your Bank Account to Pay for Your Child's College Education

As a parent, I understand the desire to provide our children with everything in life. When our kids were ready to graduate high school, my husband and I were all about finding the money to pay their way through undergrad. Our motivation was sincere. We hoped to save them the stress we felt when we were their age and working through college.

Despite our decision at the time, raiding your savings account to cover your young adult's education may not be in your best interests. Here's why.

1. Your child won't have skin in the game

One of my closest friends never had to come up with a penny for college. Nor did she have to worry about repaying loans of any kind. While I'm sure she's grateful, she recently admitted that she was not impressed with her college experience. She wondered aloud if her lack of enthusiasm stemmed from having it handed to her.

She never decided on her own that she wanted to go to college. Her parents made that decision. She couldn't wait a year or two after high school to decide what she was passionate about because she was expected to leave in the fall after graduation. She might have a college degree but never had any skin in the game.

If you're feeling guilty about not footing the bill, ask yourself how much more school is likely to mean to your children if they take on some of the burden themselves.

2. You underestimate them

I remember the first time one of my boys told me they'd picked the wrong major. It was about two weeks before he graduated from college. I can recall where I was sitting and precisely what I felt at that moment. I remember saying something very motherly, like, "Welp. Tough toenails." In reality, I was pretty mad.

I knew we'd made a risky move by paying for their bachelor's degrees. And at that moment, I realized that we made paying for their education look so easy that at least one of our sons thought it was easy for us. That's not on him. He had no frame of reference or way to know that sacrifice was involved.

According to experts, working things out for themselves allows a young adult to practice making decisions on their own and to gain confidence in the decisions they make. Now that I'm older and wiser, I regret underestimating them when they were young. If we'd asked them to contribute, I am quite sure they would have come through.

3. Your retirement will not take care of itself

We were still quite young when our first child graduated high school and headed to college. At that age, it felt like we had all the time in the world to prepare for retirement.

While we contributed to a 401(k), our finances would look very different today if we'd focused on maxing out our contributions instead of just trying to meet the company match. We rationalized that we couldn't do more because we had so many things to pay for.

If you've ever sat down on a railroad tie and been stung in the butt by a bee, you can relate to how we felt when we realized that we're nearer to retirement than we'd like to admit. It's almost shocking. I don't care how old you are; retirement is closer than you think.

Don't wait until you're of "a certain age" to calculate whether you're on track to retire. Before you promise to help your child establish a sunshine-filled future, make sure your retirement plans are on track so you can also enjoy the sun.

4. There are other financial options

If you're robbing your emergency fund to pay for your child's education, there's no reason to put your financial future at risk. Start early by searching for grants and scholarships your child may qualify for. Meet with their high school counselor and enlist their help in your search. The school counselor may know of resources you have yet to come across.

Once your child knows where they want to go to school, contact its financial aid office for more information about potential scholarships and grants. Schedule an appointment. Your child will likely want to go alone, but if they allow you to come along, it might be good to hear about what's available first-hand.

Ask about work/study programs. They are an excellent way for your child to contribute to the cost of their education and make university connections.

This is a big time in your child's life. It's also a moment of decision for you. If you haven't already tucked enough away to pay for your child's schooling, determine how much you can contribute without impacting your future, and trust your child to rise to the occasion.