5 Ways I Learned to Spend Less Than I Earn (and How You Can, Too)

Living paycheck to paycheck means using the entirety of your paycheck to cover basic living expenses, like housing, food, and daycare for the kids. It can also mean sleepless nights and wondering if you'll ever get off the hamster wheel.

I spent years on that wheel. Sometimes, it was due to bad luck, and sometimes, it was due to bad decisions. Either way, I knew it was not a pattern I wanted to spend the rest of my life repeating. The following five alterations to my thought process helped me escape, and they could help you too.

1. There's nothing like being miserable

My husband and I were teenagers when we married (do not attempt this at home). As kids, we were too inexperienced to understand how little we knew about anything, including personal finances. Neither of us grew up around a lot of money, and many of the people in our lives were also living paycheck to paycheck. It was stressful but almost seemed natural. We rarely had money left over to save or a dime to invest.

In our early twenties, we were working our way through college. With two baby boys, juggling school schedules, and a mortgage to pay, we were stretched so thin it felt like we might snap.

We didn't snap, but something big did happen. We realized how miserable we were. I'd like to say that deciding to turn things around immediately worked wonders. It did not. However, it was the beginning of a multi-year process that allowed us to get where we wanted to be.

For you: If you're unhappy with your financial situation, make a change. It doesn't have to be anything huge. The point is to move in the direction you want to go.

2. Save money

One of the first things we did was find a way to save money. Take my word for it, though; it wasn't much. I switched from name-brand diapers to generic, and when we needed a car, we bought an old hoopty. Then, rather than meet friends out for dinner, we took turns cooking at home for each other. It wasn't always pretty, but it was an efficient way to save money.

I recall sitting on the sofa in our living room, working on the monthly budget, and being so pleased because we found a way to save $25 a week.

It had been so easy to pull out a credit card or rob Peter to pay Paul when we had to replace a broken window or pay a medical copay. Having an emergency savings account (albeit small) meant having money to cover minor emergencies without resorting to credit.

For you: If you can't imagine squeezing another dollar out of your weekly budget, begin by tossing spare change in a jar. You may be surprised how quickly those coins add up.

3. Get on the same page

Love the guy to pieces, but my husband and I can argue about anything -- from which famous rocker wrote Manfred Mann's "Blinded by the Light" to whether Cheerios are better than Raisin Bran. When it comes to money, though, nothing put us on the same page faster than feeling broke all the time.

Once we realized we could put a little money away each month, it felt like we were on a roll. We felt confident enough to create a realistic budget and set financial goals. One was to contribute pre-tax dollars to his 401(k), and the other was to get to a place where we could live off one of our salaries. Neither happened right away, but at least we shared those goals.

For you: If you share your household budget with another person, talk to them about your concerns. Most of all, encourage them to share their ideas and help you set goals.

4. Whittle away debt

We slowly whittled away at our debt, careful not to create new debt. While we made it a point to pay more than the minimum each month, it was often only a few dollars more. It wasn't until we landed higher-paying jobs that we could ramp up the amount we paid.

If you're in debt, this thought may be familiar to you, "I'm not sure why I'm even trying because I'll never get out of debt." Of course, you will. It may just take a little longer than you thought it would.

For you: It took us years to dig our way out of debt, but eventually, those balances did go down. If you believe you'll never get out of debt, do yourself a favor: Give it 12 months. Once you see your balances drop, you may just be surprised by the emotional turbo-boost.

5. We changed our minds

It took time, but we finally hit those two big goals: We maxed out 401(k)s and learned to live far enough below our means to allow one of us to cover bills if the other lost their job. Granted, it took years (and many setbacks), but we got there.

What's been most remarkable is how much our view of money has changed. There was a time when every raise or unexpected bonus was spent. Some of it went toward bills, but there were also questionable decisions made, like buying NFL season tickets before we were out of debt.

Slowly, we created new money habits. Here's how it works:

• We consider buying a new hot tub, but decide to save the money instead.
• We both feel good about the decision.
• Our brains recognize the connection between the action (saving money) and the satisfaction we feel, and store that information away.
• Because saving money lights up the reward center of our brains, saving becomes our new habit.

For you: Don't be frustrated if things don't happen overnight. If your goal is to live below your means, it's okay to start slow. Again, the goal is to move in the right direction.

We're continually bombarded with messages designed to make us empty our bank accounts on the things we're told we need. If giving in to those messages no longer makes you happy, that's a good sign it's time for change.